No Regrets
by lu.e3
Summary: Kaoru and Haruhi meet at a coffee shop, 5 years after they graduate from high school. It's time to sort things out and live life with no regrets. KaoxHaru
1. No Regrets: Kaoru POV

_**(KaoxHaru)**_

**No Regrets **

_fanfic by lu.e3_

_ Kaoru's POV

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_

The sun is strong and warm on the skin of my bare arm. Streaming through the window, the patch of sunshine lying across the table is peaceful and reminds me of the sunny day when I said goodbye. I will always remember the way you told me to look after myself, to study well and to keep in contact; eyes looking straight into mine, hands resting lightly on my shoulders, voice quiet and earnest. The wind was strong that day and strands of your hair were blowing softly into your pink tinged face.

You would always say the practical things. You said it to everyone, with your solemn brown eyes, while the rest of us would drift away into those brown depthless pupils and wonder at what those swirls meant.

But you said something else to me that day. While we all hugged each other and said our teary but heartfelt goodbyes, I was the last to leave. I didn't mean to be the last one to leave. I cherished and lingered in our embrace, knowing that your heart would never feel the same tug in my heart. Unknowingly, I let you go and watched you fall away from me.

Haruhi, you really are an amazing person. I remember feeling my façade falter for the first time since the day I told you I loved Hikaru more. With that characteristic tilt of your head that I have always loved, you asked the unasked question.

_Is something wrong, Kaoru?_

Not even my twin brother was able to see through my smiles and my cheery appearance.

_No, nothing is wrong._

I betrayed myself. And you saw it in my face. Then, so unlike you, you put your hands on my face and forced me to look straight at you. Your fingers were resting on my cheeks and I wanted to kiss them.

_Nothing is wrong!!! What are you doing?_

You had stepped back as if burnt. I remember wanting to push my hands deep in my pockets, to hide my eyes under my hair, to walk away and to leave it at that. But you didn't let me.

_Kaoru. Goodbye. _Spoken, soft as the wind. _Even though we are graduating, I'll see you again. Thank you for everything. And I wish you the best for the future. No regrets, Kaoru. I wish you'll live life to the fullest, with no regrets._

The last time I saw your face; it was with a true smile. That natural rockie smile, meaning every ounce of kindness you meant.

To live life with no regrets? It is something that I have pondered on. And I have taken the message to heart. I want to be happy. I want to be able explore the fresh world so new to me, and to feel the warmth of the sunshine.

The door tinkles. You were never one for being late. I look up from my table and search for your eyes. The coffee shop is not too crowded on this Saturday morning. Through the morning sunshine, I see a tumble of brown hair and the glimmer of brown eyes.

"Kaoru?" Your voice has lost its child-like quality and is much deeper now. I realize that I'm standing up. You've grown taller, and your head almost tickles my chin. "Why have you arranged to meet me?"

I smile. Always the one for being blunt and direct. I don't mind. "To tell you the truth." I say honestly. My heart is pounding with the old fear. But I'm determined to not let it rule me this time. My arm is actually shaking as I offer to draw up a chair.

You tilt your head. "The truth?"

Suddenly, the years fall away. I sense the way you open yourself up and give me the chance to say what I have always wanted and needed to tell. _I love you. I love you more than Hikaru. _It is like the day we said goodbye, except this time I'm not going to back away. I'm going to tell the truth.

I smile slightly. "Would you like a coffee?"

"Would you?" you reply. "Yes, if it will make it easier."

My thoughts tumble into speech. "You told me to live life without regrets."

"I did."

"I have-"

"You have lots to tell me." I stare at the shy smile lighting up your face. Something hits me hard. I feel dizzy. I feel warmth flush through my body.

You knew.

All along.

You were just waiting for me.

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A/N: when I caught up with the manga, and found that Kaoru opted out, I WAS SO UPSET! KaoxHaru was one of my favourite pairings. Finally, I decided to write this alternate ending! Love to know what you think of it, 

lu.e3


	2. No Regrets: Haruhi POV

A/N: Since I get persuaded really easily, I wrote more. I had no idea what to write next and just wrote Haruhi's POV instead. (It was sooo hard, kick me if it doesn't sound right and tell me to delete it if it is awful). If I come up with more KaoHaru stories, I will add it here. Might as well be my KaoHaru collection now. –winks- Thank you for the comments so far!

-lu.e3

* * *

**No Regrets**

_**Haruhi's POV

* * *

**_I have not seen Kaoru for a long time. 

Kaoru.

I forget how subtle and teasing you can be. Like that note you slipped in my letterbox, inviting me to meet you at "The Quick Brown Fox"; a coffee shop in the outer suburbs.

_Dear Haruhi,_

_Let's meet for a sweet rendezvous._

_Love, your good friend Kaoru_

You could have used modern communication methods like everyone else; the phone, the internet. You chose the mail instead. I could catch that slow wink of yours in those words. Sometimes, you were utterly infuriating.

Has it been five years since our graduation? It feels like ten.

I pause at the door. There are dark shapes among the tables and I wonder which one is you. Perhaps the tall one leaning casually against the wall. Or the one reminiscing in the far left, staring out the windows.

_I can't make my arms move! _People walking on the streets stare at me strangely. What am I doing? Staring stupidly through a glass door? I grasp the handle and pull. The bell tinkles its song. Inside, it is bright and sunny. Will I really see you again?

Heads turn round. Eyes flicker towards me. One of them is definitely you. I blurt out your name like a kid. I can't help it. I haven't reached your table, nor confirmed whether the person I am seeing is you.

It is.

How could I forget that face? It has hardly changed. Your golden eyes are clear and remind me of sunshine. Your mouth has a touch of a smile. It is the face that has laughed with me. Teased me. It is the face that I held once. It is a face that is different to Hikaru's in every small way. I want to say I have missed you. But instead-

"Why have you arranged to meet me?"

You smile easily, like you have always done. A smile that has not been entirely true to your inner feelings. "To tell the truth."

"The truth?"

Time stops. It goes back to the day I said goodbye. I never knew you would take my message to heart. I had given up. Neither of us had the courage to pick up the broken pieces. What you will say now? I have never felt more alive. I desire so much to hear you say the truth.

"Would you like a coffee?"

"Would you? Yes, if it will make it easier."

I sometimes wonder whether I have been too late in everything I do. Too late to realize my feelings. To late to tell. Have I been a coward? All I do is give subtle hints and hope like a fool. If only I had…

"You told me to live life without regrets."

"I did."

"I have-"

"You have lots to tell me."

To live life with no regrets. I'm not going to contradict myself. There is nothing to lose, surely.

"H-Haruhi-," you half stand up. I laugh at the look on your face. My insecurities melt away. I have never felt happier.

"So," I ask, "How come you didn't contact me earlier?"

You fall silent. There is an air of comic guilt. "You already know." You reach out and touch my hands. "I was acting like a coward."

"You're not, now." I turn my palm upwards and grasp your hands. They are larger than mine. Soft and smooth. Slightly rough underneath. I lean over the table and place my fingers on your face.

This time, you don't flinch and turn away.

This time, you stare straight at me.

This time, your face doesn't lie.

This time, I'm not going to wait for you.

This time, there will be no regrets.


End file.
